Thousands of Turks Protest Visit by Pope

Thousands of angry Muslims demonstrated in Turkey to protest the upcoming visit by the Pope. They are still outraged that he quoted an ancient scholar that called Islam "evil and inhuman". So they proved their point by rioting and murdering innocent bystanders, including a nun (that'll show 'em!). The Pope planned a visit to mend fences, but the natives don't seem to be in a forgiving mood. The big question Chick collectors should be wondering is, are any of the protestors passing out anti-Vatican Chick tracts? See Chick's THE STORYTELLER.

Palestinians Still Pissed

Angered by the Israeli raid that killed 300 Palestinians and five Israelis, Palestinians continue to fire home made rockets into fields outside Gaza despite the cease fire. The Israeli Army has pulled out for now, but their attack has left many dead, including a 19 member extended family killed in a botched missile strike. The population is desperate, and earlier this week, a grandmother actually joined the suicide bombers and blew herself up in a futile effort to resist. The militants refuse to accept Israel's claim to occupy Palestinian land.

Coach Suspended for Biblical remark

A coach is suspended from teaching because he told a student in health class to "just read your Bible." (He should have used Chick tracts!). Very few details are provided, giving the impression that the context of the exchange is missing. Either way, you can expect the ACLU won't rest until he's out on his can!

Church ripped off by Katrina "victims"

A family that was supposedly left homeless after Katrina (but provided no proof) asked for an received a free house from a Church in Memphis, then sold the house for $88,000.00, and took the money and left town. They never even moved into the house. When asked about shameless money grab, Mr. Thompson told reporters that the church was engaged in deceit, and that they should "take it up with God." Rev. White (who is black) said Mr. Thompson (who is also black) should return the money so they could give it true need.

Mormon Cultist faces Hearing for Rape related charges

Warren Jeffs, the Mormon cult leader that urged young teen girls to marry older men and do their duty for the Church by producing children, faces his first hearing to see if he'll face charges for Accomplice for Rape. He pressured the witness against him, a (then) 14 year old 9th grade girl, that she should marry her first cousin... an older man. See Chick's THE VISITORS.

Six Muslim Leaders Removed From Plane

Six Muslim clerics were removed from a plane after acting suspiciously. They tried to get up in mass to hold prayers, and other passengers feared they were going to take over the plane. They refused to leave without having the police arrest them. Now they're crying racism. See Chick's SKYLIGHTER.

Alberto Sermons Placed on Web

A hereto unknown web site shows video of Alberto Rivera delivering anti-Vatican sermons, and discussing the years he says he served as an undercover Jesuit agent. See Chick's ALBERTO.

Democrat proposes Draft in Congress

Left winger Charlie Rangel, a leading Democrat in the new congress, declares his intention to bring back the draft. He says the military kills too many minorities, despite clear statistics that show a larger portion of white soldiers die in Iraq than any other ethnic group (because they chose to fill the fighting positions instead of the support roles that are safer behind the lines). Other Democrats say it won't pass, but it gives a taste for the type of media circus stunts that are in store for the next two years. Gotta love it, Haw haw! See Chick's THE CHAPLAIN.

Preacher's Murdering Wife Claims Abuse

Rev. Matt Winkler, the preacher who was gunned down by his wife in a small Tennessee town, is now going through a media trial designed to discredit him and let his wife get away with murder. She's claiming she was abused and had to kill him in self defense. Of course, the media is more than happy to promote her story, and we can probably expect a 60 Minutes or other TV special to recreate the event with actors. But the real question is, so what? Even if he was a wife beater (which there is only claims by those who want to get her off to support) does that justify his murder? NEWS FLASH: You can always take the kids and run away from your abusing husband... Or at the very least, give them a Chick tract and watch them convert. See Chick's HAPPY HOUR.

O.J.'s Simpson's Tell-Nothing Book cancelled

O.J. Simpson's latest effort to cash in on his crime, the "If I Slit My White Ex-Wife's Throat, How I Made $2.5 Millon And Got Away With Murder" book has been cancelled. (Okay, the title was little different, but you get the point.) O.J. fooled a nearly all black jury by screaming 'racism' but lost the civil case and was ordered to pay the other victim's (Ronald Goldman) family $30 million. Since that time, he's paid nothing, and worked a deal to peddle the new book for $ 2.5 million which was deposited in a trust for his kids... again, to avoid paying the victims any restitution. Unfortunately, even without the book, he still gets to keep the $2.5 million. Who says crime doesn't pay? See Chick's THE THIEF.

Rick Warren goes to Middle East

Mega Church leader Rick Warren goes on a controversial trip to the middle East. Some Pro Israel types call him a sellout.

Cat "evolves" into Dog?

A Brazilian family claims their cat gave birth to three puppies. Blood tests will prove if it is true or if they were adopted by the cat when her own kittens died. What could this do to the evolution debate? Haw haw haw!

Murtha looses leadership bid

John Murtha looses his bid to become the House whip (2nd in command) to the new Democratic Speaker. Murtha is famous for being an ex-marine who wants to cut and run from Iraq. One reason he lost was probably because Nancy Pelosi promised the Democrats would be "the most honest Congress in history"... And then endorsed Murtha, who narrowly avoided being indicted by the FBI during ABSCAM, after being videotaped telling a rich sheik who offered a bribe, "I can't accept that (money) at this time". See Chick's BUSTED.

Vatican repeats Marriage Ban

The Pope reemphasized the ban against marriage of Catholic priests. This puts to rest-- at least for now-- any hopes critics had that the Vatican would allow priests to get married to help reduce the Priest shortage (and perhaps, lower the number of gay / boy molesting scandals as well). The Vatican had also recently excommunicated an African bishop who ordained priests who were married. See Chick's MEN IN BLACK.

Rock Queen wants religion banned

"Sir" (or is it "Mame"?) Elton John tells reporters that he thinks religion should be banned because it hates homosexuals. The pop singing queer went on to say that he thinks religion does some good things (read: feed the poor) but that overall, it should be banned. Earlier, John claimed that "I think people should be free to pursue whatever sexual practice they want. I think they should draw the line at goats though." So does that mean his guard dogs are or are not safe? See Chick's DOOM TOWN.

US vetoes condemnation of Israel's Military Offensive

The USA vetoed the UN's most recent condemnation of Israel's military offensive in the Gaza Strip. The vote was spurred by Israel's recent bombing of the West Bank that went off course and killed 19 people, mostly children. Representative Bolton said the resolution was "biased" against the Jewish state. See Chick's LOVE THE JEWISH PEOPLE.

Al-Qaeda celebrates Democratic Win

In a taped message to followers, the head of Al-Qaeda in Iraq celebrated the victory of Democrats in the recent election, and vowed to keep on fighting until the White House was destroyed. He also claimed there are 12,000 Al-Qaeda terrorists fighting US forces in Iraq. I guess they learned their lesson and stopped releasing these tapes before the elections, because it always seemed to hurt the party they wanted to see win. Lucky for us, politicians rarely do what you want them to do. The terrorists are about to learn the hard way that just because the party you like wins, you shouldn't expect any real changes. Haw-haw-haw! See Chick's WHO CARES?

Argentina issues warrant for Iranian President

An Argentine judge issues an arrest warrant for the former president of Iran for the 1994 bombing of a Jewish temple that killed 85 people, mostly Jews. Iran says they are innocent and the Argentines were tricked by Jews working for Israel and the USA to frame Iran. See Chick's THE HIT LIST.

Mexico City recognizes Same Sex Unions

Mexico City recognizes Civil Unions between gays. It is shy of recognizing gay marriage, but liberal leaders say this is the only the first step to getting the Catholic country to bury its religious values and accept the different life style. See Chick's SIN CITY.

UK Mi5 warns of Domestic Muslim Terrorists

The UK version of the CIA (Mi5) announces they are tracking over 1,600 British Muslims who are terrorists and are planning attacks on their adopted country. (But I thought diversity was our strength?) The agency is also aware of 30 plots already under way, but worries there may be more it is NOT aware of. It makes you wonder how many WE have cooking in the USA... See Chick's MEN OF PEACE.

Republicans and Liberals lose election

Republicans lose the House and Democrats just barely win the Senate, but they succeeded by using conservative candidates that are anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage. So not only is government divided, but so is the party in charge of the Congress. Despite promising to announce an official agenda before the election, the Democrats never announced any plan on what they would do if they won (in contrast to the Republican's "Contract with America"). Now the world waits to see if they will cut off funding to the military or support the struggle to pacify Iraq. The leader of the charge to pull out of Iraq-- the official Democratic Senator nominee from New York, lost to the pro-war Independent, Senator Joe Lieberman (who will vote with the Democrats despite being jilted in the primaries). Meanwhile, Bush promises to work with Democrats on issues they can both agree on, like giving amnesty to illegal aliens. Oh joy. See Chick's GOMEZ IS COMING.

Israel pulls out of Gaza... again

The recent invasion of the Gaza strip ends as Israeli troops pull out again. They went in and killed about 50 Palestinians during the incursion. The military action seems to have been largely ignored by the UN and world in general. See Chick's SKYLIGHTER.

Scientists want to create animal/ human eggs

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more controversial, the stem cell debate just did. Scientists in England want to mix cow DNA with human DNA so they can clone more cells for Stem Cell research. The resulting eggs would be 99.9% human, and only .1% cow. Of course, they argue it will save lives (all except the lives of the babies-- and cows-- that are sacrificed for experiments). Now the big question is, will Michael J. Fox do his routine to promote it? (And could they actually use fox DNA?)

Election "Tightens"

On the eve of the big election, polls show the overall 11% lead that Democrats had has dropped to just 4%... Within the margin of error. Falling gas prices, record stock prices, and the lowest unemployment rate in over five years may be a factor, but just as likely, it is the Democrats failure to deliver any sort of alternative plan. They've promised for months to say what they plan to do if they take control, but decided in the end, it would be better NOT to say what they plan to do. (This is in contrast to the famous "Contract with America" that helped Republicans take control about a year ago.) Democrats have also taken a hit over Kerry's anti-military comments (repackaged as a "botched joke"). Their spin doctors went into overtime when the polls indicated it reduced undecided voters from voting Democrat by 18%. Chick avoids discussing politics in his tracts, but he is likely to address the election in an open letter in the upcoming issue of BATTLECRY (his bi-monthly newsletter).

Haggard admits "sexual immorality"

Ted Haggard issues a letter to the congregation that was read in public on Sunday, wherein he admits "sexual immorality". He also says many of the things claimed by the gay prostitute were lies, but that enough are true to justify his removal. Of course, what the media really wants to know is specifics of what he did, but they will be disappointed. See Chick's THE GAY BLADE.

Saddam to hang. "God is Great!"

Saddam is found guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced to death by hanging. During the verdict, he is visibly shaken, and shouts out "God is great!" (along with the usual insults). He will appeal, but unlike the US system, this will not drag out for ten to twenty years. Saddam could be doing his rope dance within a few months or even a few weeks. Meanwhile, Amnesty International declared his trial was not fair. (They are becoming more and more like the ACLU, always there with reactionary rhetoric that is 100% predictable.) See Chick's FRAMED.

Haggard dismissed from church he founded

Ted Haggard, the embattled Evangelical leader who was accused of gay sex and drug use with a Denver male prostitute, has been dismissed from his church for immoral conduct. The church leaders don't seem to believe his denial of the gay sex, even though his accuser failed in his lie detector test. (He should have joined the Episcopal church, they may have made him a bishop, Haw haw haw!) See Chick's SIN CITY.

Kent Hovind found guilty on all counts of tax abuse

Kent "Dr. Dino" Hovind was found guilty in his trial of tax evasion for refusing to pay employee taxes for his workers at his anti-evolution museum (Dinosaur Adventureland). He and his wife face more than 200 years in prison... Each. (They should have just killed someone, it would be a lot less time.) Hovind helped write Chick's BIG DADDY, and stars in several anti-evolution videos that Chick sells. He argued his ministry was not a business, and not subject to taxation. The IRS convinced the jury otherwise.

Episcopal Activist Bishop assumes control

The controversial left wing activist/ female Bishop who was elected earlier to lead the Episcopal Church assumes control today. She was elected by a slim margin, and was one the leaders who first pushed for gay marriage and gay leaders in the church. Many of the churches and their followers have since left the Episcopal umbrella, which, ironically, firms up her control even more (since the opposition has fled). On NPR's Fresh Air, she stated her big goal was social justice, especially getting the rich nations to pay for the poor, but she never mentioned preaching the word of God or winning souls of Christ as being anywhere on her radar screen. Chick claims such social activists in Cleric clothes are really preaching liberation theology. See Chick's FAT CATS.

Haggard accuser fails lie detector test

The gay prostitute and drug dealer who accused Ted Haggard of sex and drug use admits on CNN that he failed the lie detector test when asked if he had sex with the famous minister. He also admits that he revealed the relationship days before the election in order to effect the election (by depressing Christian voter turnout). Haggard admits he bought drugs from the dealer, but denies having sex with him. Haggard also says he threw the drugs away-- but probably had to say that or face possible criminal charges. Regardless, this has been a busy month for October surprises, especially gay scandals aimed at the GOP on the eve of voting. Isn't it ironic that liberals who claim a person's sexual orientation should be private and doesn't really matter, never seem to shy away from using it as a weapon against their political adversaries? I guess there's plenty of hypocrisy on all sides to go around. See Chick's DOOM TOWN.

New tract: The Unwelcome Guest

Chick releases a new tract, THE UNWELCOME GUEST.

Evangelical Leader Resigns over Scandal

Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, resigns over a gay sex/ drug scandal. The homosexual prostitute claims he's had 36 sexual encounters with Haggard. He also claims to have sold Haggard drugs and to have Haggard recorded on voice mail requesting more drugs. Haggard denies the allegations, but church leaders say he's admitted some of the claims (probably the drug use). The prostitute is angry that Haggard was leading the fight to ban gay marriage-- but has now resigned his post. See Chick's SIN CITY.

The new face of Halloween on campus

Ever wonder what professors are told to teach about Halloween? Well, here's an email explaining what the real meaning of Halloween is that was recently sent to teachers at one college institution by someone else on the staff. All I could think when I read it was HAW-HAW-HAW!

"Just a friendly reminder that tomorrow, Oct 31 is Samhaim, a religious holiday in the Celtic tradition. It represents the Celtic New Year and is celebrated by folks who follow one or another of the contemporary Celtic-based spiritual paths. Remember that just as Christians rightly complain that Christmas has been too commercialized and "cartoonized", so too do folks following the Celtic traditions feel that their holy-day has been trivialized (and sometimes even demonized) in our particular culture. I hope we can all be sensitive to this viewpoint as we celebrate in whatever fashion we feel best!"

Kerry apologizes for insulting the military... sorta

John Kerry, the Democratic Senator who ran against Bush in the last election, apologizes for suggesting the military was for losers who couldn't cut it in college. He said he was sorry for anyone who was offended for his remarks about those who didn't study well wound up "stuck in Iraq". He did not apologize for making the remarks, however, inferring instead that the fault lies in those who misunderstood the intent of his insult. To add another layer of spin to the apology, he is now saying that he meant to say something different, but that it came out wrong. This claim is made despite his angry defense of the joke earlier, when he said he was not going to apologize and had nothing to apologize for, but that it was the President who should apologize for getting us into Iraq in the first place. (The Senator overlooked the fact that he himself voted for the invasion). This flip flopping led the Vice President to quip, "he was for the joke before he was against it." Democrats quickly distanced themselves from Kerry and asked him not to attend campaign rallies, hoping to win seats in the upcoming election. They are also concerned that the recent New Jersey court decision supporting gay marriage has started to energize the religious right to vote despite the embarrassment of the Mark Foley scandal. See Chick's DOOM TOWN.