Six Degrees of Chick Separation

Ever play the six degrees of Separation game, where anyone can be traced to Kevin Beacon by naming five people who know one another until the last one in the line worked with Kevin Bacon? Heck, that's NOTHING! As this blog demonstrates, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD HAS BEEN PREACHED ABOUT IN CHICK TRACTS-- and usually within just ONE or TWO degrees of separation! Check out the new wing at Chickcomics.com, then see if you can think of a concept, controversy, or even famous person, that we canNOT associate it with a Chick tract within six associations... or less!

Dutchman Builds Giant Ark

A new ark is built and it's BIG... but still five times smaller than the one described in the Bible. An Ugly American tourist visits it and says we might need it again to save us from the upcoming global warming flood. The artist, however, doesn't agree, since the Bible states the rainbow is God's promise not to drown the world again. (I guess Al Gore and company don't believe in that promise. Haw-haw!) See Chick's IN THE BEGINNING.

Don't say we didn't tell you so!

Despite promises that electing the first gay Bishop to the Episcopal Church leadership would NOT lead to gay Marriage, now the same gay priest claims-- you guessed it-- he wants to get married. This is one year after Bishop Gene Robinson announced he had another secret during his election: He was a closet Alcoholic as well! What's next? Gay Divorce? See Chick's HAPPY HOUR.

You resign! No, YOU resign!

After weeks of having Democrats demand the Republican Attorney Genaral resign for firing 8 of his staff, now the Republicans are demanding that Majority Senate Leader Harry Reid resign for saying "we've lost the war". One can only imagine what the troops think hearing Washington declare that they have lost. Fortunately, most have learned that politicians usually say the opposit of the truth, so maybe it will boost their morale. Unfortunately, the terrorists are less intelligent than that and are probably celebrating. Case in point: Holocaust denier and the Nuke power wanna-be President of Iran applauded Reid's comments and added his own. He claimed the US is weaker now than ever before. See Chick's SKYLIGHTER.

New Hampshire Okay's Gay Civil Unions

The new Democratic State Senate in New Hampshire passes civil unions for gay couples today, and the Governor (also a Democrat) promises to sign it. They now join fellow blue states, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Vermont as the second best place for gays to get hitched. The first place is Massachusetts, home of Ted Kennedy and the only state to believe marriage is also the union between two people of the same sex. (Although the people part could eventually change as well, since it discriminates against animals. Haw-haw!) See Chick's THE GAY BLADE.

South American Communist Starts Brainwashing Classes

Victor Chavez, the President of Venezuela who was officially made a dictator by his Congress earlier in the year, has just passed a new law. All state workers, including those at the recently nationalized oil companies and utilities, will undergo Marxist brain washing courses. Of course, they do not call them "brainwashing", they call them Marxist educational courses, but they are not academic or two sided classes. They are designed to convince the student/hostage that a Marxist Socialist state (the kind that failed both Russia and China) is the best form of government. Oh, and the workers MUST attend and pass the class or they lose their job. (You sure didn't hear much about this news item in the mainstream media, did you? I wonder why...) See Chick's FAT CATS tract.

Attorney General "Scandal" continues

You gotta love the latest Washington investigaton/ "scandal". The Senators were grilling the Attorney General over who he decided to hire and fire. It's like the scene out of Cassablanca, where Claud Raines holds a raid on Rick's Cafe saying "'I'm shocked, SHOCKED to hear this establishment is engaged in gambling!" .. then collects his winnings. Here we have politicians acting dismayed that other politicians hire and fire political appointees for political reasons. I burst out laughing when I heard Senator Chuck "the schmoo" from NY shake his finger at the Attorney General and say he should resign even if there is no evidence of wrong doing because "The American people expect you to hold yourself to a higher standard." (And yet Chucky urged Clinton not to resign after engaging in verifiable purgury. Where was his "higher standard" then?) Haw-haw! Chick shows how honest and concerned for the truth Prosecutors really are in his tract, BUSTED!

Korean shoots dead 32 students at college

The big news last week was the murder spree by a South Korean student at Virgina Tech. He killed 32 others before shooting himself. Today, the news announced, "Police still don't know why he did it." Since I'm sure the police read this blog, let me reveal the big answer to their question. He did it BECAUSE HE WAS CRAZY! Now, the same politicans who passed the Americans With Disabilities Act in 1992 which entitled wackos like the killer to hide their mental diffientcies from school officials and made it impossible for them to force any sort of treatment, are now saying we need more gun laws to stop it from happening again. The current gun laws make it illegal for suicidal nuts to buy them, but the authorities didn't know he had been treated for suicidal tendentcies because of the ADA restrictions. Why are we always so concerned with the "rights" of the murderers, crazy people, and terrorists instead of the victims on the street? Here's a concept: Why not raise the standard for immigrants? Don't allow murderers, illegals, and nut cases into the country at all. And if they can't provide documentation that they are law abiding, normal, AIDS free people who want to contribute more than they take, then tell 'em to keep moving? (Just a thought, but I'm sure it's too "common sense" for Washington to listen.) Chick uses a similar storyline to the shooting in GOOD OL' BOYS.

Supreme Court upholds law on late tern abortions

Last week was a big event for Abortion activists. After years of lower judges stopping the implementation of the Partial Birth Abortion ban (where the fetus is killed by pulling the head out of the womb and crushing it), the Supreme Court ruled that it was passed by Congress and was therefore law. Anti-Abortion activists are saying it's the beginning of a new era, and pro-Abortion supporters are saying it's the beginning of the end. In reality, it passed with support from both parties (including significant Democrats like Harry Reid) and never should have been delayed by activists judges. (Clinton tried to veto it, but Congress over rode his veto.) Headlines screamed "Court takes hard line on Abortion." Since when does upholding the law mean taking a hard line? This is called MAKING the news instead of reporting it. See Chick's WHO MURDERED CLARICE?

No Preaching At Post Offices

The courts ruled there could be no evangelizing at post offices run by private contractors or churches (Mail Boxes, etc.). This includes no tracts-- but they can still promote "The Force" with the new Star Wars postal displays-- Haw haw!

Army Recognizes Wiccans

The Army agreed to start putting Pentigrams on gravestones of soldiers who claimed to be Wiccans (the religion of witchs). What would Elaine say if she were javascript:void(0)here? See Chick's SATAN'S MASTER.

Don Imus Fired

The P.C. Police claim another victim. Don Imus was fired today for using the same put down words blacks use in their rap music: "Ho!" When Al Sharpton and company went after him, he apologized long and hard-- but that only encouraged them more. He was suspended for two weeks but they wanted him to lose everything. They won. How long before some minority group succeeds where the gay and Catholic activists have failed and shuts down Chick? (Good thing Chick says "haw-haw-haw" instead of "Ho-ho-ho!", coz the Grinches won't rest till they've completely shut down Christmas!)

Preacher's wife claims abuse... but police say--

The woman who shot her preacher husband to death is getting her day in court, and guess what her defense is? Self defense from abuse (it sure is nice having the only other witness dead). Unfortunately, this time the old 'brutal husband made me do it" defense might not work, because the police stay it was another motive. She was involved in a Nigerian check cashing scheme and the authorities were closing in on her. (The bank wanted her to report to their office the next day to explain some bogus checks.) We'll see what happens next... See Chick's HAPPY HOUR.